


the things that stay the same

by BucksomeBarnes (Freckled_Halos)



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: 1930s, Captain America Sam Wilson, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, MENTION OF:, Married Bucky Barnes/Steve Rogers, Men Crying, Post-Endgame, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-Serum Steve Rogers, Pre-World War II Bucky Barnes, Rating for Language, Time Travel, Tiny bit of Angst, but better lol
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-13
Updated: 2019-09-13
Packaged: 2020-10-17 13:13:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,447
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20621594
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Freckled_Halos/pseuds/BucksomeBarnes
Summary: Steve's finished returning the Infinity Stones and has enough Pym Particles to make one last stop to see Bucky in 1939.





	the things that stay the same

**Author's Note:**

> I only saw endgame once and doing any kind of research about it sends me into a blind rage SO there's a lot of handwaving time travel rules here, but I don't think it takes away from the story at all.
> 
> For some background music:  
[Blue Moon](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pXKZqaja7ao)  
[Moon Glow](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZEV6rQIX2Sk)

Dry leaves skittered across the pavement in front of Steve’s feet, blown by a crisp autumn breeze. It ruffled his hair, sending short bangs into his eyes. Steve had forgotten the effort and inconvenience of styling his hair like this, but his fingers still brushed across his forehead in the habitual way they always had. Leaning against a brick wall, he was hidden in shadow, as he kept his eyes fixed on the building across the street.

This was a terrible idea. He knew that. He knew that and yet here he was, looking highly suspicious, staking out the Brooklyn YMCA on a Tuesday afternoon in 1939.

Steve shifted on his feet, switching the briefcase he was holding to the other hand as he checked his watch. It was almost five, the sun getting low in the sky, and as the seconds ticked away, Steve’s heart rate quickened with them. _Just a look_, he told himself. _For old time’s sake._

Five more minutes passed and Steve was getting increasingly anxious, doubting then reassuring himself ten different times before movement from across the street caught his eye. Steve turned to look just as a 22-year-old Bucky Barnes rounded the corner of the block and sauntered down the sidewalk towards the YMCA.

Steve’s breath caught in his throat. A flood of different emotions filled his chest while watching this Bucky, who he had missed so very much, look so carefree and happy. He was wearing dark brown pants sat high on his waist with a pressed white shirt tucked into them, a matching brown coat on top of that. He had a bag slung over his shoulder, which Steve knew held a towel, shorts, soft sneakers, and his boxing handwraps and gloves. Those and, of course, a small comb and tin of Bucky’s favorite pomade. His dark shoes clicked sharply on the pavement.

Even from across the street, Steve could make out the freckles all over Bucky’s face and hands, the dimples set into clean shaven cheeks. Steve couldn’t help but think about the countless nights he had reverently traced those very freckles with a cool fingertip, lightly kissed those dimpled cheeks and round cleft chin. The feeling of seeing this version of Bucky again after so many years made Steve’s heart flutter and stomach leap, but it also made his chest tight and eyes threaten to spill over with tears. Before he could process any of these feelings, Bucky had hopped up the steps and disappeared into the building.

This was when Steve should have left. He should have set the appropriate year, taken out the last of his Pym Particles, and gone home—home to the Bucky that he had waiting for him there, but he hesitated. A faint part of him supported this idea, it was the responsible and safe thing to do. But since when did Steve Rogers ever do the responsible and safe thing?

He thought just a quick look would be enough to settle his mind and his heart, but the inevitable next thought of _talking_ to this young Bucky was too enticing and as soon as Steve got the idea, he knew he was never going to be able to talk himself out of it.

But how? Lingering around to ambush him after training was a bad plan. He didn’t know if Bucky would be with his pals and very suddenly, Steve remembered that while he _felt_ like he was 21 again, when looking at this Bucky, he was in fact almost a 40 year old man now and the last thing he wanted was to come off threatening or predatory.

The thought of how he would explain this situation to Bucky was shoved to the back of his mind after he had made the decision to stay for a little while longer. The first objective was to somehow get Bucky alone in a safe place.

Having made his mind up, Steve quickly stepped across the street and into the YMCA as casually as he could manage. The look and smell of the building immediately brought Steve into countless memories of meeting up with Bucky here after training to walk down to the soda fountain for milkshakes and fries. Sometimes it was just the two of them, sometimes a few of Bucky’s boxing buddies would go along too. The visceral feeling of it caught Steve a little off guard and he had to remind himself why he was there now.

Walking down the left hallway, Steve turned into the men’s locker room, thankful that it was empty. He took out a scrap of paper and pen he kept in the briefcase with the Stones and scribbled down a note.

Sugar,

Got a little surprise for you. Meet me at our spot after training.

Your Dollface

Steve scanned the lockers for Bucky’s lucky number and slipped the paper inside, hands lightly trembling. This was still a very terrible idea.

–

Steve wrung his hands together as he shuffled on his feet, coat pockets full of freshly bought Lifesavers and caramels. Nearly an hour had passed since he had slunk out of the YMCA, which meant Bucky should now be heading this way. He wasn’t regretting this decision necessarily, but the full reality of the situation was finally settling in and Steve was starting to panic about what exactly he was going to say once Bucky got there.

If he did. That wasn’t a total guarantee either.

“Their spot” was in a skinny windowless alleyway between two towering tenements in a part of town where people had more of a tendency to look the other way when you were walking a little too close to any of your same-gendered pals. There was a broken fence dividing the alley and Steve stood on the south side of it, shoved in the corner where wood met brick, assuming Bucky would be coming from the north.

A few more agonizingly long minutes passed before Steve heard footsteps on the far side of the alley. They got closer and closer, their owner beginning to whistle _Blue Moon_. A smile immediately spread on Steve’s face and he closed his eyes, listening to Bucky approach. A few feet away from the opposite side of the fence, the whistling stopped, which was Steve’s cue to pick up with the beginning of _Moon Glow_. Steve whistled back with quivering lips until he heard the footsteps reach the fence.

“So, a surprise, huh?” Bucky asked quietly, leaning his back against the wood almost perfectly lined up with Steve on the other side. His voice was light and melodic, even sweeter than Steve remembered. You could hear the innocence and youthfulness in it, the confidence and playfulness, and it took all that Steve had to not break down right there.

“If you play your cards right,” Steve answered, trying to sound just as light and young as he would have then.

“Is that so?” Bucky answered playfully. Steve could hear him rustling around in his pockets and heard the flick of a zippo. Light smoke billowed up and over the fence, the smell again threatening to pull Steve out of the moment and back into infinite intimate memories.

Steve quickly realized that maybe he should have thought this through a little (or a lot) more. What was he supposed to say now? _Yep, surprise! It’s Steve from the future! But don’t freak out about it, okay?_ Jesus, this really was a terrible idea.

After a long silence, Bucky asked, “Steve? Everything alright?”

“Yeah, yeah, I just...” Steve rubbed the back of his neck and looked towards the sky, pleading with whatever power out there to help him proceed tactfully. He could hear Bucky shift, presumably towards the broken open side of the fence. Panicking, Steve blundered out, “I don’t want you to see me.”

Bucky stopped. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“I need to explain something first—”

“Steve, I swear to God, if you have another black eye I’m gonna be almost tempted to make sure ya get two.”

Steve smiled despite himself. “It’s not that, Buck, I promise.”

Another cloud of smoke. “Then what is it? You’re givin’ me the spooks.”

Looking at his hands, Steve furrowed his eyebrows. He considered pretending to be his 1939-self, but something about that felt wrong. He didn’t want to lie to Bucky and he had no good reason for sneaking around like this if he was really this Bucky’s Steve.

The lack of a conclusion to this genius plan of his crept up through the back of Steve’s mind and he was fully faced with the fact that after having this self-serving interaction, he was going to have to leave. He was going to have to say goodbye to this Bucky, knowing full well all the atrocities that would be done to him, all the suffering and pain and death...

There was absolutely nothing Steve could do to change the fate of his present-day Bucky, he knew that. That timeline had already played out, which was why he was here in the first place. But he was still given strict instructions by Bruce before he went back with the Stones to not split any timelines if he could help it. It would unnecessarily complicate things and create infinite new multiverses.

Steve didn’t try to understand all the specifics, he just knew he wasn’t supposed to make any big waves. Being seen on the street by some strangers or buying some candy at their old favorite store would technically also create new timelines, but not ones that had such a drastic affect on anybody in them. But he had already decided to make contact with this Bucky which immediately would’ve started a new one. If he told this Bucky about anything...warned him...he might be able to make a difference for him, in this new timeline.

What’s a few more infinite universes when an infinite amount already exists?

“What, ah...what if I told you I’m, um...a different Steve than you think I am?”

There was a brief pause. “Is this some kind of existential question?” Bucky asked, a little less aloof than Steve would have expected.

“You like a lot of science fiction...” Steve trailed off.

“Yeah...”

Steve turned and leaned his forehead against the fence, letting out a frustrated sigh at himself. “What if I told you that I’m a Steve from...a different time?”

There was a longer pause this time and Steve strained to peek through the cracks between boards to get any kind of idea what was going through Bucky’s mind, but he could only see Bucky’s back, one shoulder leaning against the fence as he smoked, ankles crossed, his gym bag set at his feet.

Eventually, he replied, “What time?”

There was no way to say any of this without sounding like a complete lunatic and Steve realized how dumb this really was. What the fuck was he thinking pulling a stunt like this? But Steve got himself—and Bucky—into this mess, he couldn’t just back out now. Maybe if he revealed as little as possible, it wouldn’t be so bad and they could both move on with their lives how they were meant to.

“The future,” Steve finally answered, sounding painfully stupid.

Bucky was quiet for a long time. Steve watched as another cloud of smoke rose from Bucky’s side of the fence and dissipated into the cool evening air.

“The future, huh?” Bucky eventually said, a hint of amusement in his voice. That was more of a relief than anything.

Steve smiled. “Yeah.”

“That the surprise?”

“That. And I got you some candy—your favorites.”

Bucky laughed lightly. “Thanks, doll. You didn’t have t’ do that.”

“I know,” Steve said. “But I wanted to. And...”

“What is it?”

Steve sighed again. He already said enough idiotic sounding shit in this conversation, might as well keep going. “I just wanted to see you.”

“Then come over here and see me,” Bucky answered, low and teasing. The pit of Steve’s stomach flipped and he swallowed hard. No. That was not what he was here for at all.

_Here goes nothing. _Taking a deep breath, Steve pushed up from the fence, picked the briefcase up from the asphalt at his feet, took a few steps to his left, and began to clamber between the missing slats of wood. He unfolded on the other side, standing tall in front of Bucky who was positively gawking at him.

“_Steve?_” Bucky breathed, cigarette falling from his mouth to the pavement. “Jesus Mary and Joseph, I thought you were jerkin’ me around.”

“I know how this must look,” Steve said quickly, putting his hands out and taking a step forward. Bucky instinctively took a step back and Steve dropped his arms. “It’s really me, Buck. I swear.”

The confusion and fear in Bucky’s eyes slowly turned into wary curiosity as he looked Steve up and down. His expression gradually softened as he very deliberately studied every feature of Steve’s face, calculating.

“Okay,” Bucky said eventually, mouth dry. “Okay, I believe you. I don’t understand it, but...I believe you’re some kind of Steve.”

Steve let out a sigh of relief, tension and panic melting away as he smiled wide at Bucky. “It’s good to see you, Buck.”

Bucky smiled back, but there was something hesitant behind it. Steve supposed he couldn’t blame him, this was an impossible situation for anyone to wrap their head around.

“How…?” Bucky trailed off, clearing his throat.

“I can’t tell you,” Steve grimaced. “I wish I could. Bucky, there is so much I wish I could tell you, but—” He cut himself off, feeling sudden tears want to fall. Shakily, he continued, “I shouldn’t.”

“Okay.” Bucky continued, more seriously. “I get it.” He took a deep breath and rubbed the back of his neck nervously.

Oh God, this felt much worse than Steve could’ve imagined. Even if he did change the fate of this Bucky, he was so painfully reminded of how innocent _his _Bucky used to be. How hopeful and recklessly in love he was. How he thought he could conquer anything and would live a long, happy life...

Watching Steve’s expression, Bucky’s eyebrows pulled together. “What’s wrong?”

Steve squeezed his eyes shut and hung his head in his hands as tears rolled down his cheeks, hot and guilty. “I’m so sorry,” he choked out. “Bucky, I’m so, so sorry.”

Steve felt Bucky’s hand tentatively settle on his arm, trying to comfort him in a situation he had no way of truly understanding yet. Pressing the heels of his palms to his closed eyes, Steve tried to stop crying, forcing himself to take a few deep breaths. When he raised his head again, Bucky was looking at him with a broken expression, pained and confused.

“I don’t want to tell you details,” Steve murmured, wiping at his eyes. “But, Buck...something’s gonna happen in a few years and I just...I need you to be careful, okay? I know you’ll only be able to control so much, but—”

_But what? _Steve thought. _Don’t get drafted? Don’t follow orders?_ They were impossible asks.

“Just take care of yourself, alright? And don’t worry about me.”

Bucky looked genuinely scared and it absolutely broke Steve’s heart, but he didn’t want to reveal anything more. That would only make Bucky feel worse and that’s not at all what Steve wanted to achieve with this cryptic warning.

He continued sniffling as Bucky’s face softened slightly. He slid his hand down Steve’s arm to give his fingers a comforting squeeze, but once he did, he froze. Still holding his hand gently, Bucky raised their arms, staring very pointedly at the dark grey wedding band winking at them both in the setting sun.

They made eye contact, Steve trying to read Bucky’s expression.

“You’re married now,” he said quietly, glancing back at the ring. It was supposed to come out conversational, but Steve could hear the hurt behind it.

“Yeah,” Steve replied, thinking.

Bucky chewed on his lip and nodded in thought. He looked into Steve’s eyes, letting his hand go and asking, “Is this what you’re sorry about?”

Steve blinked a few times, caught completely off guard. “What?”

Bucky looked away, working his jaw, which Steve knew meant he was trying not to cry.

“I don’t know why I—” Bucky cut himself off and let out a self-deprecating laugh, ears and neck flushing. He looked into Steve’s eyes, tears threatening to spill over, but he still forced a pleasant smile on his face. “Are you happy?”

He could tell how much it pained Bucky to ask, but there he was asking anyway because it was _Steve _he cared about most. _Steve _he wanted the best for, even when Bucky thought he was out of the picture. Telling him would be a making a _huge_ wave, but Steve couldn’t lie, not while looking at Bucky so brokenhearted and scorned. They wouldn’t be able to do anything about it at the time, which made Steve almost not want to say anything, but something else told Steve that this Bucky would want to know for a fact if any version of themselves ended up together—he knew he would’ve wanted that at the time.

Letting out a long breath, Steve finally answered, “Happier than I’ve ever been,” eyes glittering as he looked at Bucky. “And...I think you are too.”

Bucky’s eyebrows pulled together. “What d’you mean?”

Steve took a moment to think of how he wanted to phrase this. “The life you—and I—end up leading after this conversation might be really different from the way I, right now, had lived, so I can’t guarantee anything about your—you, here, right now’s—future. Does that make sense?”

Bucky crossed arms, wary. “Sure.”

“Just me talking to you right now has already started a new timeline because the you I have waiting for me back home will have never experienced this, even though you’re both you now, you know?”

Narrowing his eyes, Bucky’s heart rate quickened. “Waiting for you back home?”

Steve pressed his lips together, suppressing a smile. He looked into Bucky’s eyes, throat tightening, feeling the tears begin to well up. “We finally did it, sugar.” He whispered, holding his hand out, looking at the ring, then back to Bucky. “Official and everything.”

Bucky stared at him, confused and unbelieving. He scoffed a little, shook his head, then stared again. Steve could see the wheels turning in his mind, trying to figure out how and when.

“We…” Bucky cleared his throat and glanced behind him nervously. Voice cracking, he quietly asked, “We’re married? You and me?”

Steve broke into a teary smile. “Yeah. Yeah, Buck, we are.”

Bucky let out a sound somewhere between a laugh and a sigh. “Jesus Christ,” he mumbled, rubbing at his eyes and nose. “Jesus _Christ_. But…?”

“I know.” Steve laughed lightly, wiping at his own cheeks. “It’s a long story and the road getting there was...painful. But we got there.”

“What’s it like?” Bucky said, nearly silent, but eyes bright.

Steve shook his head, trying to come up with the right thing to say. He settled on “Incredible,” but that was really an understatement. “But the time in the future that I came back from is probably not when you think. Where we are in my present is very different than how it is right now, in ‘39. And I wish so badly that it was easier for you—for us—but, it’s going to take a while, if it ever happens.”

“That’s okay,” Bucky replied immediately. He glanced at his shoes for a moment before looking back up and carefully taking Steve’s hands in his. “Just knowing that any version of us, anywhere, gets to be happy together...” he trailed off, giving Steve a small grin.

Steve smiled sadly and squeezed Bucky’s hands. “I wish there was more I could do.”

“I understand,” Bucky sniffled. “It’s okay.”

It tugged at Steve’s heartstrings. Of course he understood. Of course it’s okay. Of course Bucky was still the most wonderful man Steve had ever met.

“I’m so glad you stopped by, Steve,” Bucky said softly. “It’s good to see you so grown up. You know how it is. Sometimes...sometimes you get so sick and I just—” Bucky took in a shaky breath. “I’m just real happy to see you big and strong. Real happy.” He gave Steve a wobbly smile and Steve in turn, leaned in, enveloping Bucky into a tight hug.

They held onto each other for a few long moments, processing, lost in their own sea of thoughts.

“You smell the same,” Bucky whispered against Steve’s neck.

Steve smiled. “You do too. Some things don’t change, huh?”

Holding him tighter, Bucky sighed. “No, some things don’t.”

They reluctantly pulled away from each other and Steve cupped Bucky’s face in his palms, wiping a few tears away with his thumbs before giving Bucky a lingering kiss on the forehead.

“I love you. Now, later...always.”

Bucky smiled, chin trembling, and put his hands on top of Steve’s. “I love you too.”

Steve’s eyes roamed over Bucky’s face, trying to re-memorize every detail before all the wrinkles and grey hairs. Steve loved them, but they were a constant reminder of how much life Bucky had lived, and so much of it so terrible.

“I should go,” Steve said quietly.

“Yeah. Alright,” Bucky replied, taking a step back.

Steve let his arms fall and he shoved his hands into his coat pockets.

“Oh, I almost forgot,” Steve laughed lightly, pulling his hands out, filled with candy. “Lifesavers and caramels, right?”

Bucky gave him a toothy grin, dimples forming. “Right.”

Steve held his hands out and dumped it all into Bucky’s open palms. He grabbed his briefcase and took a few steps back, setting his watch to 2023.

Bucky looked so young, standing there in his wide legged pants, hands full of candy, staring back at Steve with a combination of awe and bewilderment in his eyes.

Steve gave him one last smile and positioned his fingers. “See you soon, Buck.”

Bucky smiled back, a glint in his eye. “See ya soon, Steve.”

-

Popping the last Lifesaver into his mouth, Bucky wandered down the hall of his apartment building, mind positively swimming. It seemed impossible, but Bucky knew Steve. He’d know any Steve in any place at any time and_ that_ had been him. But how? And why? What was he doing? On his trip home, Bucky had thought of a million and a half questions he should’ve asked, though he supposed it was probably for the best. He’d read enough books to know how messy time travel can get.

He reached the end of the hall and scrounged around in his pocket for the key, opening the grimy door and slipping inside.

He dropped his bag and as he was kicking his shoes off, heard footsteps coming from the bedroom.

“I didn’t know you were gonna go out after training tonight.”

Bucky turned around to see Steve—his Steve—leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, giving him a playful glare. His heart soared and he rushed over, effortlessly scooping Steve into his arms and spinning them around. Steve laughed, holding tightly onto Bucky’s shoulders.

“Hey, now!” Steve cried out. “I’m gettin’ dizzy.”

Bucky set him down, but didn’t let him go, holding Steve close to his chest.

“What’s goin’ on with you?” Steve asked, pulling away to catch Bucky’s gaze.

He looked at Steve with glassy eyes, a faint smile spread on his lips. “Would you marry me?”

Steve’s nose scrunched up. “What?” he asked, lighthearted.

Bucky took Steve’s hands in his, bringing them to his mouth to gently kiss his knuckles. “If we could, would you?”

“Of course I would,” Steve replied. “You know that.”

“Just wanted to hear you say it,” Bucky smirked. Steve narrowed his eyes, suspicious. “Oh stop that,” Bucky laughed, leaning in close. “I was just...thinkin’ about it.”

Steve closed the distance between them, gently pressing their lips together. “You’re a real sap, you know that?”

“I know,” Bucky whispered, kissing Steve with more passion. “And it’s all ‘cause of you, dollface.”

Steve smiled against Bucky’s mouth, kissing him back between giggles.

-

Steve materialized back onto the platform in the woods to find Bruce, Bucky, and Sam all staring expectantly at him.

“Costume change?” Sam teased.

Looking down to his fake-vintage outfit, Steve blushed. “I had to blend in,” he muttered, stepping down to the ground.

“How’d it go? Everything back where it needs to be?” Bruce asked, grinning.

“Yep,” Steve sighed, suddenly extremely tired.

“And no big changes?”

“Nope.”

Bucky spread his arms and Steve walked towards him, folding himself into Bucky’s chest. He rubbed Steve’s back and kissed his temple before Steve straightened up.

“Do you have the extra Pym Particles?”

“Oh,” Steve flustered, giving Sam a hello hug as well. He held up the briefcase and shrugged. “Sorry, I had to use them unexpectedly...”

“That’s alright,” Bruce said, stepping around the control panel to take the Stone’s case from him. “I’m glad you had them if you needed them.”

“Yeah...” Steve answered guiltily. Bucky caught his eye and raised a brow, giving him an unbelieving smirk.

Flushing slightly, Steve said, “I’m exhausted, think I’m gonna go lie down for a bit.”

“I’m sure you are,” Bruce said. “It may take a little more time than usual to feel rested, go ahead and take it easy.”

Steve turned to Sam and said, “I’ll talk to you later, okay? I want to know how your first mission as Captain America went.”

“Sure,” Sam answered, also giving him a look_. _

Bucky followed Steve up the hill, grabbing his hand gently. “So how’d it go?”

“Fine,” Steve said, pulling a smile. “I have something for you.”

“Oh?”

“Yeah.” Steve reached into a pocket and pulled a single cube of caramel, handing it out to Bucky.

He looked strangely at it. “Where’d this come from?”

“Just eat it.”

Bucky gave Steve an unsure glance, but still picked it up, peeled the wax paper off and popped it into his mouth. After a while, he said, “Mm, where’d you get this? It tastes just like Mr. Johnson’s used to.”

Steve just peeked at him from the corner of his eyes, smirking.

“You broke some rules, didn’t you?” Bucky playfully scolded.

Steve shrugged. “You surprised?”

Bucky snorted a quick laugh. “I’d only be surprised if you_ hadn’t_.”

Bumping their shoulders together, Steve smiled. “Some things never change, huh?”

“No,” Bucky smiled warmly. “They don’t.”

**Author's Note:**

> Finally motivated to write again after so many months and it feels great !!! Special thanks to [JessRoseDraws](https://twitter.com/JessRoseDraws) and [softestbuck](https://twitter.com/softestbuck) over on twitter for their thoughts and encouragement <3
> 
> I was going to add a bit in there about present Steve telling past Bucky to stop smoking lol but it just didn't fit anywhere and i felt like it killed the mood i was going for.


End file.
